Take time to throw snow...

Sometimes you just have to take time to throw snow. Life's too short not to. On my last day in Calgary my fiance` and I got horribly lost (so nothing new there.) We drove around for about an hour and a bit until we eventually pulled into a snow covered park to unfold our map on the hood (bonnet) and figure out where the snot on God's good green earth we were.

Well feeling rather playful I picked up a little snow and let her have it... the world war of snow fights ensued. It's now a memory forever fixed in my neural pathways. Whenever I feel a little down I can now close my eyes... walk down these pathways and find the door labeled fun with my lover.

life's to short. Pick up snow and make a compact hard little ball and throw it at somebody you love today. If you don't have snow, ice cubes will do... although make sure you substitute throwing them with putting a block down the back of your loved ones shirt. Make a memory wherever you are.

My personal gag order.

What do you say to a man whose wife is dying? One of my mentors has a wife who has cancer. She's getting worse. Words no matter how compassionate or sincere come to nothing but hot air. I have my own Personal Gag order for situations such as these. No saying, "It will be ok." or "God has it under control." It won't be ok... and Dennis knows that God has Anna in he's hands, but at a time like this all he knows... All he feels is that his wife is suffering and that he is watching her every day in pain. And oneday... maybe soon, maybe later. Anna will go to be with God and he will be left alone with the pieces.

How do you console that, there are no magic words. No easy fix. He will miss her for the rest of his life. I'm not even married yet. I'm at the moment only engaged.... and I could never imagine losing my fiance`. I know that everyday I fall a little more in love with her... Dennis must love his wife so much. So deeply. A little more everyday.

As much as life is funny ,soaked with humour, Sometimes life isn't very funny at all. Sometimes the joy is hid from us. Sometimes it's more tears than smiles. And sometimes there are no answers. Even the obvious perfect answers looking you in the face aren't very helpful. The truth is... pain hurts. There is no way around it. No way to glaze over it with some joyfilled resolution. I need to grieve with my mentor. My friend. I need to sit with him. Cry with him and shut the hell up. No words.